Open Letter #1

Dear college girls sitting behind me,

If you continue to kick my seat like a set of petulant 5-year olds stuck on an airplane that's been delayed on the runway for 3 hours, I cannot be held responsible for what will happen next.

Admittedly, I've had a very long, sleep-deprived, draining and slightly disappointing week and perhaps I've a wee bit less patience than normal on a rainy Friday afternoon at quarter to six. Perhaps, even, I should turn the other cheek, so to speak, and turn to politely ask you to keep you rear end on the seat and feet on the floor.

Unfortunately, feeling your knee in my lower back for the 547th time has activated my Hulk mode and a sane, non-violent response is no longer on my radar.

Might I also remind you that this is not a lounge in your dorm. Get your feet off the seat. People do not pay $20 round trip or, in my case, $314/month to sit where the nasty bottom of your shoes have been. The general state of the train is bad enough. No need to leave a contribution.

Let me just close with this - your entire conversation has done nothing but reinforce the stereotype of today's teenager's as selfish, entitled and lazy. Though I don't consider myself old by any means, let me explain to you a little life lesson that will serve you well the sooner you learn it:

This life doesn't owe you a damnB thing.

So the next time you want to whine and moan about not having to pay for this or that and demand that mommy and daddy buy it because you "deserve" you'd be much better off to remember that without them you wouldn't be sitting on this train coming home from the college education they're paying for in your pink UGGs, your Louis Vuitton bags hanging off your shoulder.

Look, now you got me really upset. If only you'd kept your knee to yourself...

Love & Kisses,

The enraged woman in front of you in desperate need of a heating pad